Earlier today I sat in a circle with parents, most of whom I’d come to know through weekly playgroups with their Tiny Tots. We gathered for our first class on brain development, without children present, to begin the process of onboarding with the Parent Co. What unfolded was so much more than a lecture—it was the real beginning of something we’re building together: a “way of being,” as one mother reflected.
An Evidence-Based Gateway to Parenting Together
These classes are the gate a cohort of parents must pass through together, a gate created from years of evidence-based studies from teaching parenting workshops, and grounded in experiential education. So, this was a gate that involved sitting back-to-back, tuning into each other’s breath, and then talking about it.
I had shared about the hand model of the brain, how the limbic system is protected by the higher realms of the brain (the thumb representing the emotional center, the fingers folder over representing the executive functioning), how we can “flip our lid” when our fight-or-flight activates, and how the breath can bring us back to coherent thinking.
The Power of Really Seeing Each Other
I knew that it may be awkward for the attendees when I brought in the experiential exercises, including getting close enough to really “see” each other at the range where babies naturally tune into their parents. When we partnered up for eye gazing, for thirty seconds at a 10-inch range, something shifted. Vulnerability and beauty showed up when we were really seeing each other, without the usual barriers… once the giggles passed. It was really lovely to hear what each participant had to share about what they witnessed in those moments of “seeing” the other at close range: Beauty. Vulnerability. Safety. Kindness.
Why Brain Development Starts with Human Connection
All this was to show how brain development is rooted in real human connection and atunement between parent and child, and how our work with Parent Co. starts with parents being willing to be vulnerable and present with each other. Taking care of one anothers’ children will take some trust-building, and beyond learning about brain development, communication skills, and best practices in discipline, that’s the essence of this workshop series that culminates with structured support of sharing in childcare.
Talking about the neurons at play in brain development, I asked, “can you imagine 86 billion of anything?” They said: “random socks” and “cookie crumbs.”
We will talk about “serve and return” in the next communication workshop, but it is clear that they are already skilled at showing up for that work!
